Chapter (অধ্যায়): MARRIAGEPage: 16 of 89
Saradamani was only sevenher mind not yet
sufficiently developed even to know what marriage
was.
When Sri Ramakrishna returned to
Dakshineswar, divine longing again seized him
in all its intensity, and he forgot all about
Kamarpukur, his friends and relations, and
everything. The one thought which occupied his
whole mind was how to realize the Divine Mother
as a constant presence. A severe spiritual storm
seized him. Days and nights were spent in
anguish because God was not a living reality to
him: if the Divine Mother was a reality why
should She not be to him as tangible as the visible
objects around? He was consumed with that
one longing. Sleep left him, he forgot all idea of
food and drink. Worldly things or any talk about
worldly affairs he dreaded and shunned as poison.
While he was passing through this state of
divine discontent, smaller minds thought that he
was seized with a disease, that his brain was
deranged. Physicians were called in, medicines
were tried, but all to no avail. The news gradually
travelled to Kamarpukur that Sri Ramakrishna
had gone mad. Chandramani was anxious
for her beloved son. She began to pray for
him and offered worship to various gods.
Jayrambati being so near to Kamarpukur, the